An Unspoken Love
by Sleep Walking Chicken
Summary: Everything is always so silent, so undecided...what should I do when things come out in the open...
1. An unspoke love

**An Unspoken Love**  
  
Whenever Inu-yasha makes any contact with me, I get this tingling feeling running up and down my spine. The kind of thing that reminds you that you shouldn't eat breakfast right before you're about to run five miles during gym class. But that feeling is the bad, nauseating feeling. The feeling that Inu-yasha gives me makes me feel, funny.  
  
Not the _'ha ha'_ funny, or the _'ironic'_ funny. Just, Funny. That's the only way to really explain it. Funny.  
  
I wonder if I could ever describe it further. But I find it unnecessary, since I would only be explaining it to myself, and I already know what the feeling feels like.  
  
I wonder briefly why I fell for such a pig. An arrogant, stubborn, insensitive, jealous, violent jerk. But that's just his mask. I know that he wears a mask. And I've only seen him toss aside that mask a few times.  
  
And after that he would become flustered and act like nothing happened. But I knew. And I never brought it up again.  
  
It makes me feel special to know that he can toss aside that mask for me every once in awhile.  
  
Even if it is only briefly. Or on accident.  
  
Sometimes he doesn't even know he's showing me his timid side. Yes timid. I know its deep within him. That tough guy act...it's only an act. Deep down, he's only a little child, trying to find acceptance, for what he is, a hanyou.  
  
But that is what he is.  
  
Not _who_ he is. Him being a hanyou does not change him. I would love him if he were a human, a hanyou, or a youkai. That doesn't matter to me; nothing matters to me, just him. I admit, sometimes it hurts, his harsh words, his claim of me only being a tama detector. But I know that he doesn't mean it.  
  
Most of the time.  
  
Some times I'm not sure.  
  
But what we have is deeper than any stream, any river, and any valley. I love Inu-yasha, and I always will. Not Hojo-Kun, not Kouga-Kun, not anyone. Sometimes I hate the web I've woven myself into. Sometimes the love hexagon I'm part of is too much for me. But I never give up that one day, Inu-yasha will see me.  
  
Not see me. I mean _see_ me. As in Kagome. The Kagome that was always beside him, cried for him, loves him.  
  
My family loves him too. He's accepted into my family. Except maybe my jiichan. But he doesn't count.  
  
Anyways, I'm getting off topic here.  
  
"Kagome?" I'm jolted out of my thoughts and I look up and see the topic of my thoughts. His silver hair flowing softly in the light breeze. His ears fully alert for any sign of tension between us. His leg muscles tense, ready to hop away at anytime. Or maybe he's bracing himself for a sitting?  
  
I'm not sure.  
  
He looks at me questionably and I smile softly, patting the grass next to me. He nods his understand and sits near me, I watch his back relax as he lets out a breath he was no doubt holding in.  
  
He smiles softly at me and I look up at the sky, watching the clouds dance by in the wind. They're moving very fast, and I remember hearing my science teacher saying that the winds up there can get to thousands of miles fast. That never ceases to amaze me.  
  
I look over at my hanyou; he's gazing at the sky too. But I know that he's not thinking about how fast the winds are blowing. He has a glazed, far away look on his face. He looks enlightened.  
  
He must have felt my gaze on me because he looks down at me and raises on of his sexy thick eyebrows in my direction, asking an tacit question: _'what_?'  
  
I shake my head and return my gaze up to the sky, "It's pretty isn't it?" I look over at my hanyou, his golden eyes staring at the sky, watching the puffy white clouds float away towards the horizon, which is turning a slight yellowish red.  
  
I nodded and smiled, I loved talking to him. Even if it was about the stupidest thing: clouds.  
  
He chuckled deep within his throat and I watch him, he turned towards me with one of his sad smiles, "I used to watch clouds with my mom."  
  
I feel instantly guilty, I look at my feet that are fiddling with each other, "I'm sorry."  
  
"What for?" I look at him questionably, but his expression is unreadable, he sighs deeply, "Don't be sorry about something you didn't do Kagome. I don't mind thinking about her sometimes, as long as my memories are happy."  
  
"Happy?" I asked confused.  
  
"She and I, we used to watch the clouds and pick out animals that "lived" among the clouds. Those are one of the few happy memories I have of my mother, and I don't want to forget them," he turned towards me with his unreadable expression, "It was something she did for only me."  
  
I nodded, though I didn't understand how this was a happy memory, if his mother was gone.  
  
As if reading my thoughts he said, "Even if she is gone, I try to remember the times when she was alive, and beautiful, and full of life."  
  
I watched him sadly and I don't even notice I'm crying until he wipes away one of my tears.  
  
"Don't cry," he said so softly I wondered vaguely if this was the same Inu- yasha I met a year ago, "I hate to see you cry Koibito."  
  
He got up and walked away towards the village and I watched him go, before it sunk in.  
  
"He called me Koibito?" I asked no one but myself as I feel the heat rising to my cheeks, and I get that funny feeling in my stomach.  
  
Funny.  
  
I grin, he called me Koibito. He, he called me, Kagome, Ka. Go. Me. Koibito. I wonder if he meant to, and I look after him.  
  
I decide not to ask him.  
  
After all, there is no need.  
  
I finally understand what that feeling in my stomach is.  
  
It's longing. But not the bitter longing. The kind of longing you wait on, the kind that you know will be fulfilled after some time, if your patient enough.  
  
After all, Inu-yasha and I have

An unspoken


	2. Undecided decision

I don't know why I let my feelings take over like I just did. I mentally slapped myself as I walked away from her.  
  
"I called her koibito," I muttered to myself, pointing out the obvious obviousness of the situation. I blushed when I realized that I _had_ called her that.  
  
I groan out loud as I plop down onto the foot of a tree. I feel the heat rising in my face until it is almost unbearable, but I will not allow her to see me like this. I jump into the tree.  
  
I stare off into space for what seems like hours-hours of wondering why I could do such a thing and not be sat for it.  
  
I stare at my clawed hands. Claws. That's what they are-claws-weapons of destruction-my ears twitch. My ears-that of a dog's.  
  
I am a monster.  
  
In fact, when I first met her, I threatened to kill her-I wouldn't of course-I wasn't that cold hearted, I just wanted to scare her. But even then I understood what I had. I had Kagome.  
  
I stare off into the distance again. I can't have Kagome. She's from a different time and she deserves so much better. Not a hanyou.  
  
She deserves someone who won't disgust her. Won't disgust others.  
  
I sighed, my ears drooping sadly. I love Kagome so much-but in order to protect her, I cant tell her, I can't allow history to repeat itself-Naraku had been aware of my relationship with Kikyo and look how that turned out.  
  
No, I will not allow Kagome to be put in danger, never.  
  
She will leave me eventually though. Deep down within my very soul I know she doesn't belong in this world-she has a life on the other side of the well, and I can't tear her away from that. She would return to her time when the shards were all collected, but now...now I will have to enjoy being with Kagome.  
  
I can't have her. It wasn't meant to be if a thing so big as time would keep us apart.  
  
We can't be together-it's for the best.  
  
Kagome.  
  
Such a beautiful name. I shake my head, don't think such things-you have to get these thoughts out of your head; in the end you can never have her!  
  
Then why do I still dream about her? Still dream of holding her forever, kissing her, even, dare I say it…raising a family with her? I feel my insides melt at the idea. To have a family. I've never had a real family before-Sesshoumaru didn't count and both my parents died when I was little so-  
  
I smile softly at the thought of having children running around. On second thought, I should hold of on the family idea, one me is bad enough.  
  
I kick myself mentally…there wasn't going to be a family! _Kagome will never be mine!  
_  
"And how come?" I jump and fall out of my tree, great, I was talking out loud to myself and someone heard. I looked up and saw Miroku, flashing one of his hentai grins.  
  
I groan, great. Just _perfect_. Peachy keen even...  
  
I stared at Miroku, who seemed unfazed. "How come?" he repeated.  
  
"How come what?"  
  
"Don't play dumb, Inu-yasha, why can't Kagome-Sama ever be yours?"  
  
I crossed his arms and looked away, "Feh."  
  
"Don't you dare 'feh' me, tell me why, Inu-yasha."  
  
The monk was annoying the shit out of me, but I fought the urge to kill him, "She deserves someone better. Like Kouga or that homo guy." I felt like slapping myself when I said that. I'd _hate_ to see her with Kouga…  
  
Miroku sighed, "Yes I'm sure Kagome would be happy with a youkai who runs away at the signs of danger-instead of fighting to protect her. Or maybe she'd be happier with someone who bored her to sleep, instead of a peaceful sleep that allows her to sleep without fear?"  
  
I cringed.  
  
"Inu-yasha. That had better not be the only reason."  
  
I sighed, "she'd disgusted by me."  
  
"Really now Inu-yasha, you really are blind."  
  
I'm not blind. I can tell that Kagome trusts me-I just don't want to believe it…it will only lead to heartache.  
  
"She's...she's too perfect for someone like me."  
  
"Like you? Inu-yasha, you protect her with your life," Miroku sighed and shook his head as if I was the biggest disgrace of the century.  
  
Running out of ideas I blurted out the only thing I could think of, "what if history repeats itself?"  
  
Miroku sighed and shook his head for the umpteenth time, "Inu-yasha, you and Kagome-Sama have a deeper trust than Kikyo-Sama and yourself did, I do not believe that history shall repeat itself."  
  
I sighed. He was right.  
  
"She's from a different time," I whispered.  
  
Miroku stood up, "Really Inu-yasha, if time is going to stop you from being with Kagome-Sama than you really _don't_ deserve her. Stop being an idiot!"  
  
I watched him walk away, and I did something even I wasn't expecting, I grabbed his legs, "Her hair's too perfect!"  
  
Miroku raised an eyebrow and tried to shake me off, I wonder briefly why I'm making a complete ass out of myself, "you're making excuses now."  
  
"Her eyes are too beautiful to even keep eye contract with without getting lost in there endless pools," I whisper and release him, standing up and staring at the ground.  
  
Miroku fought an urge to laugh, "Inu-yasha I was not aware you were a poet."  
  
"Her ski's' too creamy. She's too nice, she's too beautiful!" I cried to the sky as I felt a whole new emotion take over. I didn't care who knew, I just wanted Kagome to love me back!  
  
Miroku whapped me on the head, "You're giving me a headache, instead of telling me, why not tell her?"  
  
I slap myself mentally, I forgot the damn monk was around. I had to stop doing that…  
  
I growl at him and he shrugs and walks away.  
  
I sigh and flop down, before I hear rustling in the bushes behind me and Kagome appears. A confused look in her blue orbs, I gulp.  
  
Prepare for the thousand nights of sitting.  
  
She walked to me cautiously and sat down. Had she heard my little outburst?  
  
"Inu-yasha?"  
  
"Hm."  
  
She picked at a blade of grass and leans her head onto my shoulder, "Thank you."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Being you."  
  
"Kagome..." I whisper. Being me? Me? What did she mean? As in being the hanyou me? My heart leapt in my chest.  
  
"Inu-yasha..." she smiled at me and stood up, walking away.  
  
I knew the decision I had to make, she'd asked the unspoken question.  
  
"Yes."  
  
She paused in her footsteps and turned to look at me, her eyes filled with joy. I smiled again. "Yes."  
  
"Yes," she whispered back as she ran back to me and flung herself into my arms.  
  
Yes, it was an unspoken question-but I had my decision. I did love her, I would love her, and I always will love her.  
  
So in reality-it was a suspenseful moment between us. But we both knew the answers.  
  
Maybe my dreams were a reality? Could be a reality?  
  
"Koibito," I hear myself whisper.  
  
Maybe it wasn't an  
  
Undecided decision.


End file.
